How to Get Along with Difficult People

I’ll jump straight in: Are there people in your life that you struggle to get along with? Yes, come on, we all have them. Somebody who really irks you and gets under your skin no matter how you approach them. Somebody who manages to let you lose your cool when you would have kept it with others. Somebody you are longing to change but just can’t seem to make any progress. This somebody or some bodies in fact brings out the worst in you and you don’t know why...

Let me share something with you:

It is easy to get along with the easy people in life. The challenge is to get along with the difficult people. Not to learn to change them. But learning to change ourselves and then managing the relationship.

There is an argument that states that all that happens on the outside is a projection of what is going on on the inside. The relationship you have with other people reflects the relationship you have with yourself. This would then mean if we wanted to change something on the outside, we would have to start by changing it on the inside.

Acceptance is a hard lesson to learn for most of us. This is about acceptance, but also about changing the energy surrounding the encounters. When we are in someone’s company who unsettles us, our energy fields communicate this to each other, this lets them know that you are defensive, which in turn makes them protective and creates one big synergy of distrust- which creates very negative energy and results in a pattern where we end up walking away feeling an aversion to that person, when we were the ones who might have started the whole pattern.

Sad and unnecessary isn’t it? What if we could change this? Unfortunately we cannot change other people. We can only change ourselves and the relationship we have with that person or the situation. Here’s an example from my life: when I invite a friend round to my house. They do not let me know they are running late and end up being 10-15 minutes late. They show up and say, “Sorry, I’m late” and I accept it. Now, when my husband or my brother does exactly the same thing, I get livid. Why is that?

My relationship to them is different and therefore my relationship with the situation will be different. If I can manage to have the same relationship with my family’s actions (note: not them but their actions) as I have with my friends’ actions, I will have fewer arguments with them.

This change is possible- at the most basic level- in our hearts.

Give this exercise a go:

Sit or lie comfortably Close your eyes Breathe in for a count of 3 and out for a count of 5 When that feels comfortable, Breathe in for 4 and out for 6 Continue stretching the breath making sure the exhalation is 2 counts longer than the inhalation.

When your mind and body feel relaxed: Visualise your heart See a door somewhere in your heart Open the door and walk down some stairs… Going deeper and deeper into your heart.

Now, come to another room The room is empty except for 2 chairs Place yourself in the one chair. Invite your “difficult” person onto the other.

Now, without speaking, hand them a bouquet of flowers. (We use the image of a bouquet as symbolism- the subconscious relates better to symbols than words)

Observe what happens next. It might be difficult to imagine them the first time but keep persevering- they will turn up and all you need to do is observe- Even the tiniest smile could move mountains in the relationship- Whether it be your smile or theirs.

Results may not become apparent instantly but if you do it right and change the energy at a molecular level and be open to accepting that person interesting things should develop…

Make sure to ground yourself by visualising roots growing out of the floor and rooting you to the spot before opening your eyes and getting up.

This is a truly magical experience and I hope you all benefit from it…

And remember- don’t take yourself too seriously- Have fun!